Comments on: Ask Dr. Vicki: Self Soothing

By: Dr. Vicki Panaccione

Dr. Vicki Panaccione — Tue, 17 May 2011 03:45:18 +0000

Allowing this teen to get around the rules is not doing him any favors in the long run. He is being allowed to be irresponsible and unaccountable for his own actions. Once in college and eventually out in the adult world, he will not be able to get away with this kind of behavior. I am afraid he will be in for a rude awakening, where the stakes may be much higher (eg.–remaining in college, keeping a job, maintaining a relationship and so on.) Parents and educators, I might add, owe it to their children/students to teach them the life skills they will need to be successful out in the world later in life. For his parent and educators to be ignoring the rules is a great disservice to him; they are raising a child who will be ill-prepared to function outside the protective cocoon of his permissive environment.

By: Lela Taylor

Lela Taylor — Tue, 10 May 2011 05:36:52 +0000

I have an 11 year old granddaughter who has been diagnosed with ADHD. She uses tape or stickers as a self-soothing mechanism. It seems to calm her down and she says help stop her from biting her nails. The problem is she tries to use this technique in school and the teacher sends her to detention as she says my granddaughter is using the tape to distract her from doing her work.Is there any information this teacher can obtain that helps her understand this ADHD child. She seems to think this child is acting up because she is just being hostile or defiant. Any suggestions would help.

By: Suzy

Suzy — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 23:56:54 +0000

Dear Dr Vicki,

My fiance has a 15 year old boy who is generally a good kid, yet incredibly lazy with no direction, passions or anything that is a healthy focus in his life.

After 2 years of counselling (for me and his father) , asking others for advice and reading any book about teenagers I have learned that we need to stick to rules in our own house to enable him to develop lifeskills, structure and good habits.

My problem is that my fiance agrees to rules, even ones he dictates himself yet chooses to ignore the rules every time his child disobeys the rules.
What chance does his child have if our home is his last chance to learn these skills especially since his private school education does not follow through with any consequences to bad behaviours?

By: Dr. Vicki Panaccione

Dr. Vicki Panaccione — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 00:35:43 +0000

Thank you for this information. I will have to look into these studies. The article on self-soothing was not intended to put infants in distress. It was, however, geared to point out the importance of developing the ability to self-soothe as a process. Thank you again for sharing some new information. I always welcome comments and new content from my readers. Best regards!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:49:16 +0000

Hi Dr. Vicki,

I’m wondering what you think about the increasing evidence that even 5 mins. left crying in babies under a year, raises cortisol levels significantly and places their mental health in jeopardy?