“Johnny, did you hear me?”
“I hate you!”
“How many times do I have to tell you…?”
“Whatever…”
“Apologize to your sister!”
“I wish I was never born.”
“You did what???”
“HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!”
“I don’t care.”
“I feel like I’m beating my head against the wall…”
“I’m stupid.”
“Clean your room.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Go to bed!”
“He started it!”
“Just ignore it.”
Sound familiar?
Those of you who have followed my columns and read my weekly newsletters know that one of my major intolerances is hypocrisy.
I think it is very hypocritical to stop one day a year and show appreciation for your mother.
Same with charity, where giving tends to be a seasonal event. Thanksgiving and Christmas are times to give to the poor, making sure that the needy have a nice holiday dinner and gifts under the tree. Even the Salvation Army and other charities are very visible at those times of the year, perpetuating the sense that giving is for holidays. But what about the rest of the year? What happens to the poor then? Are we really only concerned about their having food a couple of days a year? Teaching our children that charity is a year-round thing can help them be grateful for what they have, and sensitive toward the needs of others.
Likewise Mother’s Day.
Day after day I see families in my office whose children treat their parents with hostility and defiance. Or with disregard. The lack of respect for authority is rampant. And parents oftentimes feel powerless, and overwhelmed. “What can I do?” is a frequent lament that I hear. Many parents have abdicated their authority, and their children are growing up with disrespect.
And then, once a year, these same children stop and ‘honor’ their mothers. Sure, flowers, breakfast in bed and homemade or store-bought cards and gifts are wonderful. It’s nice to be treated with respect and appreciation.
But once a year is not enough!
Once a year is hypocrisy.
Now don’t get me wrong. I think special days should be celebrated. Like birthdays, anniversaries, life cycle events. They deserve some extra celebration. However, it is not enough to honor once a year, to give charity once a year, or show appreciation and respect once a year.
These are life lessons that need to be taught to our children, and modeled and practiced on a regular basis. The year should be full of charity, acts of kindness, celebrations of our children and parents, appreciation for one another and cooperation and partnership within the family.
Why not celebrate unbirthdays? …they are 364 days a year! How about Christmas in July meaning charity giving, not just major retail sales? Flowers are available year round. So are breakfasts…and crayons…and canned goods. Charity should be a year round practice. So should appreciation, respect and recognition.
If we only celebrate Mother’s Day once a year, then I say…
Bah, humbug!
As published in the Hometown News.
© MMVI Vicki Panaccione, Ph.D.
Tags: appreciation, celebrate, children, Family, hypocritical, Mother's Day, parents, respect
