Valentine’s Day for Mom: Single or Pregnant or Stay-at-Home

January 31, 2011 by  
Filed under Ask Dr. Vicki, Family

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Valentine's Day for Mom 1 

Valentine’s Day for Mom: Stay-at-Home

How can my husband and I have a good Valentine’s Day when we have to stay in?

 Dr. Vicki’s response:

Well, your Valentine’s Day for Mom scenario begins with defining what ‘staying in’ means.  Since this is a family site, you will have to use your imagination for any answer over PG! “Staying in” can range from being very romantic, to very playful and silly, to very sentimental and reminiscent. How about exchanging a new set of vows?  Take out the photo albums and stroll through memory lane; pop a batch of popcorn and curl up with your favorite movie (or the first movie you ever watched together) or acquiesce to an action film or chick flick (depending on your usual preference). Create a romantic scavenger hunt, hiding romantic items or memorabilia.  Pull out the old Monopoly game and beat the pants off your opponent—figuratively speaking, of course. Cook a gourmet meal together, or forget the main course and go right to dessert. I hear whip cream is great … for sundaes, of course.

 

Valentine’s Day for Mom:  Pregnant

 I am having a high-risk pregnancy. How can we have a romantic Valentine’s Day when we can’t have sex?

Dr. Vicki’s reply:                                                                                

Valentine's Day for Mom 2Your Valentine’s Day for Mom situation requires viewing passion and intimacy in a whole new way.  Actually, touch, massage and cuddling without sex can be very romantic. It’s no longer “foreplay,” leading to the climax (pun intended!). It’s intimacy in and of itself. Explore and marvel at the changes in your body, and share your hopes and dreams for the new life you are creating. Curl up in each other’s arms and enjoy the feelings of safety, security and love experienced within a mere embrace.

Enjoy each other’s company, perhaps sharing some intimate secrets that you haven’t spoken of before. Or reminisce about how you met, what attracted you to each other, your favorite dating memories, etc. How about watching your favorite movie, listening to music that shapes your mood or cooking a gourmet meal together? Drink alcohol-free champagne and strawberries dipped in chocolate.

Sex is an easy way to be loving and romantic. However, exploring and discovering other ways to express your love and commitment to each other can bring your relationship to a whole new level of intimacy.

 

Valentine’s Day for Mom:  Single

Any good ideas on how I can celebrate Valentine’s Day as a single parent? Valentine's Day for Mom 3

Dr. Vicki’s comments:

Your Valentine’s Day for Mom scenario needs to begin with one very important ingredient:  Love yourself. Too often moms pay so much attention to their kids’ needs, that they put their own needs at the bottom of the list. Find some way to splurge, pamper and indulge yourself. What have you been wanting to do that you have shoved aside? What would make your heart sing? It may be buying, eating or doing something that you never make the time for during the year. Get a massage, manicure, pedicure, facial; put highlights in your hair or get a new hairdo; treat yourself to fresh flowers or that cute pair of shoes; soak in a hot bubble bath and drink champagne; sign up for an activity of interest such as yoga, pottery, photography; walk on the beach, make a snow angel, swing on the swings. Meet a friend for lunch, or call someone you haven’t heard from in a long time. When you treat yourself as special, it’s great for you … and an important model for your kids.

Have you been in any of these positions?  Please feel free to leave a comment about any of the various Valentine’s Day for Mom scenario that you might have had in the box below.

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