Change your child’s behavior

January 18, 2011 by  
Filed under Communication, Family, Parenting

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Here’s what Dr. Vicki, The Parenting Expert, has to say:

This YouTube video has some great points, and I am frustrated that they call these suggestions “sneaky strategies.”  I don’t think they are sneaky at all…but rather good, effective ways of interacting and parenting your children!  However, as a child psychologist, I am totally opposed to one of their suggestions: the use of ‘reverse psychology.’ Basically, when you tell kids not to do something and then reward them for doing the opposite, they are being taught not to listen to their parents, and that parents really don’t mean what they say!

Here are the suggestions that I do agree with, but in a much more supportive and less sarcastic manner than the movie makers:

  • Tell your children what they should do, rather than focus on what they shouldn’t do.
  • Give your kids choices.  Even toddlers can choose to wear the red shirt or the green shirt.  This gives them a feeling of control and validation.
  • Turn commands into challenges:  “Bet you can’t eat up all that broccoli on your plate!”
  • Add silly elements to required behavior:  “Let’s try hoppin on one foot all the way into the bathroom to brush teeth.”
  • Break bad habits by using what they call a ‘bribe jar,’ but what I call a rewards jar.  You can do this in one of two ways:  either put money/token into the jar whenever you see the desired behavior (i.e.–being nice to her sister,) which is my preferred way; or put money in a jar and take some out everytime your child does the undesirable behavior (i.e.–hitting her sister.)  My emphasis is to always focus on the positive, reward the positive and set positive goals.
  • Remain calm when your kids are acting up.  Not necessarily an easy thing to do—but you are much more able to deal with the situation rationally when calm.  Remember:  When emotions go high, intelligence goes low.
  • Interesting fact:  Spanking used by parents has gone from an endorsement rate of 94% in 1968 to a rate of 61% in 2004.  Way to go parents!!

Enjoy your kids!

What do you think about these tips—are they really sneaky and tricky or useful ways to treat kids with respect?  Please feel free to comment below.

Comments

3 Responses to “Change your child’s behavior”
  1. Dr. Vicki Panaccione says:

    lauriecooper@att.net
    2011/01/11 at 7:29 pm

    I totally agree Dr.Vicki! Reverse psychology is a BAD idea! All it does is confuse them. Rewarding kids for doing what we say not to do – really?? Bad idea! Thanks for the good info! http://www.parentpositivekids.com

  2. Dr. Vicki Panaccione says:

    Thanks for your comments. Small children like fun, challenges and redirection is great. So, instead of encouraging them to do the opposite of what you want your kids to do, it’s better to redirect any opposition into a game…”I bet you can’t put your jammie’s on…” It’s fun, it gets the job done and it strengthens their sense of competence by allowing them to show you what they can do! Then, you are giving truly honest, positive feedback with praise and amazement for a behavior you desired in the first place. WIN-WIN! That’s what parenting is all about! Dr. Vicki

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  1. pligg.com says:

    Change your child’s behavior : Better Parenting Institute…

    This YouTube video has some great points, and I am frustrated that they call these suggestions “sneaky strategies.” I don’t think they are sneaky at all…but rather good, effective ways of interacting and parenting your children! However, as a chil…



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