Managing Your Anger As a Parent
Radio Series Update April 15: What’s so wrong with being angry? A look at anger from the parents’ perspective. The last couple of weeks, we have been discussing how parents sabotage their own authority, by allowing themselves to be doormats, being inconsistent and not following through with what they say. We also noted that while the topic of this segment series is discipline, we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface about specific techniques. That’s because knowing what to do is not the same as effectively doing it. AND, the most effective and successful way to discipline your kids is by learning how to handle yourself—with respect, trust-worthiness, objectivity and calmness. That means not allowing yourselves to be doormats, keeping your word, turning your buttons to snaps and managing your own anger and Little Voice conditioning. It’s becoming aware of the ways you undermine yourself and lose your ground is totally necessary before you can parent and discipline as a teacher, not a preacher—as a trainer, not a complainer.
Anger is a nature human emotion, along with happiness, pride, sadness, frustration, joy, etc. etc. That being said, we tend to have a lot of difficulty handling our own anger, and even more difficulty dealing with our kids’ anger. Why is that? Because while expressing and managing anger is a learned skill, most of us are not actively taught what to do when angry. You learned by how your parents expressed their anger; you are most likely responding to your kids in much the same way. How did you feel when your parents expressed anger toward you? How do you think your kids feel when you do the same thing to them? Angry parents tend to raise angry kids. Managing your own anger will help your kids manage theirs.
Top 5 Tips for the Week:
- Take time for yourself to refuel.
- Be aware that no one can ‘make’ you mad.
- Find outlets that work for you to channel your own frustrations and anger.
- Don’t be a martyr—it only creates anger and resentment.
- Show your kids you love them…through your words and your actions.
Enjoy your kids!
Next week on my radio series: It’s OK to be angry…or is it? Most kids will tell you NO!