My Kids Really Know How To Push My Buttons!
Radio Series Update April 8: “My kids really know how to push my buttons!” As the title suggests, this week we recognized that your ‘buttons’ are your particular emotional hot spots. If you think back, some of your ‘buttons’ may very well be the same parental buttons you pushed when you were a kid. How your parents responded to certain behaviors of yours, is how you learned to respond to the same behaviors of your kids. It’s so conditioned, you may not even realize you are continuing a conditioned pattern. For instance, if when you whined, your mother or father went absolutely ballistic, you learned that parents have an aversion to whining. You then carried that learning into adulthood and now automatically respond to your kids’ whining the same way your parents responded to your whining…you go ballistic! You are then passing this response on to your kids UNLESS you take yourself off auto-pilot and learn to deal with the behavior without an emotional upheaval.
So, get this: You don’t have to accept an invitation to a fight. Remember: if your kid’s behavior starts to evoke your emotional response to fight…you don’t have to take the challenge. If your kid throws out a rope, and expects you to begin a tug-of-war…there can’t be a fight or a tug if you don’t pick up the rope! It takes 2 to fight; it takes 2 to have a tug of war. Your kids can only ‘push your buttons’ if you let them. Becoming aware of what sets you off, gives you the power to change those buttons to snaps…then there is nothing left to push! Subsequently, when faced with the same behavior, your response will be very different. You can leave the rope on the ground and discipline from a place of teaching, rather than screeching!
Top 5 Tips of the Week :
- Learn to spot your emotional ‘hot’ buttons—your kids sure do!
- Change your ‘buttons’ to snaps…so there’s nothing left to ‘push.’
- Discipline only when you are calm and rational.
- There can only be a ‘tug of war’ if you pick up the rope!
- Show your kids you love them—through your words and your actions.
Next week: Anger doesn’t cause problems…it’s the behavior that’s at fault!
Join us on www.heartbeatradiousa.com every Thursday at 1:30 eastern.
Enjoy your kids!