Oprah Asks: Are You Second String In Your Own Life?
The other day, in her Spirit newsletter, Oprah asked women: “Are You Second-String in Your Own Life?” The accompanying article addressing this topic was written by Caroline Myss discussing the way women sabotage themselves in their love relationships.
Well, I am here to tell you that I watch women sabotage themselves every day in their relationship with their kids and their mates. They are so busy taking care of others, that they neglect their own needs, allow themselves to be treated like doormats and give away their authority. Well…
When you forget to treat yourself as special and important, then it’s easy for other family members to forget, as well. If, in fact, you want your kids to treat you with respect and hold you in high esteem…then you have to treat yourself that way!!!
Taking care of yourself is crucial for a variety of reasons.
- First and foremost, it sends a clear message that you are important. That you are not simply someone who takes care of others, but someone who also takes care of herself.
- Secondly, taking care of yourself sets the example for your children to eat well, exercise, get enough rest, take care of their appearance, etc. This is the model from which your children will learn.
- And finally, taking care of yourself helps you refuel. If you do not take care of yourself, there is the very real risk of running out of fuel. Running on empty leads to impatience, sickness, and totally depletion. The more you take care of yourself, the more energy, patience and joy you will have available to take care of your children and enjoy being a parent.
Top 5 things you can do for yourself:
- Treat yourself well. What makes your heart sing? Get a manicure, pedicure, facial, hair cut or massage. Or, better yet, spend the day at a spa getting the works! And, please—if you have medical concerns, see a doctor (one for grown-ups; not the kind who gives out lollipops or stickers if you’re good.)
- Sign up for some activity of interest. How about a class you’ve been wanting to take?: exercise, yoga, watercolors, photography, pottery (or do what Demi Moore did—bring the wheel home and use your imagination!)
- Make a date to meet a friend for lunch—once a week.
- Buy yourself something you don’t really need. Fresh cut flowers, a great smelling candle, a new outfit, a bubble bath set (like you buy for gifts, but never for yourself)… and then use it!
- Make yourself a promise to stop at the end of each day and think of what you did right, and what you enjoy about being a parent. Because, after all…the better you do, the better they become.
Enjoy your kids…but first enjoy yourself!