When your children experience your constant love, they feel lovable and valuable. They develop the ability to love themselves, feeling secure and worthwhile.

When your children experience your unwavering support, they feel accepted and validated. They develop their own identity, feeling confident, competent, capable and appreciated.

Top 10 Tips for Loving Your Children

1. Love unconditionally. Unconditional love is just that-unconditional. The love you feel for your children is unflappable: No matter what they do, you will always love them. However, children often believe that they are loved when they are behaving and achieving, but when they are in trouble, the love isn’t there. It is crucial to teach your children that how you feel about a particular behavior has nothing to do with your constant love for them.
2. Be there! Children feel safe and secure knowing that you are there for them, literally and figuratively. Your children need you to spend time with them, and be actively present in their lives. They also need to know that you are there for them, providing protection and guidance. Knowing that you will always be there for them provides your children the sense of security they need to gradually venture forth into the world. They can feel safe with the knowledge that if they ever need a back-up or support, they can count on you.
3. Tell your children you love them every day. Tell them with your words and with your actions. Treat them lovingly, respectfully and kindly. How you treat them conveys how loved and valued they are, which in turn helps them believe themselves to be lovable and valuable.
4. Show affection. Showing affection is a significant demonstration of your unconditional love. Be as affectionate as your children will allow, in the manner comfortable for them. Enjoy those hugs and kisses while they last!
5. Give affirmations. Affirmations are the positive things you tell your children. These words of validation help your children develop positive self-esteem, confidence and self-worth. Affirmations can be related to something they do : “I knew you could do it!”, or “Couldn’t have done it better myself!” Affirmations can also be given just because they are : “I’m so glad to be your mom,” and “I appreciate you.” How about making an affirmation list of your own?
6. Be glad to be their parent. Your children are amazing. Take time to delight in the joy they bring. Spend time savoring the moments, and sharing them with your children. Let your children know why you are glad to be their parent.
7. Believe in your children. Your children can become whatever they believe they can become. Where do those beliefs come from? They start with you. You set the tone, the programming, if you will. The messages you send, the beliefs you convey, directly effect what your children will believe about themselves. And they will act on those beliefs. Believe in your children, and they will learn to believe in themselves.
8. Support their interests and talents. Provide your children with opportunity to pursue their interests and cultivate their talents. Show an interest in what they are doing. However, three cautions: don’t over-schedule; don’t turn an interest into lessons and practice sessions without your children’s agreement; and if their interests and abilities do not match your expectations, keep your disappointment to yourself.
9. Be your children’s biggest fan. Of all the various feedback your children will receive, they want your approval the most. Show them how proud you are of their efforts and accomplishments, as well as the wonderful individuals they are becoming. Cheer all you want at their sporting events and snap as many pictures as possible at their concerts, school plays and award ceremonies. Smiles, hugs, praise and big thumbs-up will let them know that you are their biggest fan, and all-time cheerleader.
10. Catch your children being good. Find reasons to praise your children everyday. You can always find reasons to praise for things they do (such as cooperating, getting a good grade, etc.). And then there are reasons to praise for things they don’t do (such as not interrupting your phone conversation, not hitting their sibling even when angry, etc.)

BONUS: TOP 10 AFFIRMATIONS

1. I AM SO LUCKY TO BE YOUR MOTHER/FATHER
2. I APPRECIATE YOU
3. I TRUST YOU
4. I BELIEVE IN YOU
5. YOU ARE CAPABLE AND COMPETENT
6. YOU ARE A VALUABLE MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY
7. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO DO
8. YOU ARE SPECIAL AND UNIQUE
9. I AM PROUD OF YOU JUST FOR BEING YOU
10. I LOVE YOU FOREVER —NO MATTER WHAT!