Dr Vicki - Better Parenting Institute
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Posts Tagged ‘school work’

Time Can Slip Away if Not Managed

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

“I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date; no time to say hello-goodbye, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!!” So bemoans the White Rabbit as Alice watches him scurrying down the rabbit hole. Ah, if this was just a scene from a movie or pages from a book. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

However, I daresay that this same lament is muttered from households all over the globe. And if I had to take my best guess, this sentiment is most frequently voiced in the morning, trying to get out the door to work and school.

In my experience, there are three major areas of difficulty parents report regarding their children’s school work: study skills, motivation and organizational/time management skills. Last article focused on motivation. This month, I would like to focus on the third major area of difficulty interfering with children’s grades (and I suspect most of our lives to some degree or other, as well.) I’m referring to time management and organizational skills.

While organization and time management are actually two different issues, they frequently go hand in hand. Organize means “to put in order”; time management, “make effective use of one’s time.” When time is not used well, disorganization tends to occur. Better known as chaos, by some; ‘the story of my life,’ by others.

Take getting out the door in the morning, for example. Often I find that too many details are left until the morning, resulting in a scrambling to take care of things under a time pressure. Some of the morning rituals, such as showers, making lunches or searching for lunch money, packing up backpacks, signing permission slips, even putting cereal and bowls on the table, and picking out clothes are chores that could be relegated to nighttime rituals. (Depending upon how hectic your nights are!)

I strongly recommend that backpacks are packed, double-checked and ready to go, with all the necessary requirements for the following day (short of sticking lunch in) and either at the door, or even already in the car before your child goes to bed. This eliminates some of the last minute hassles.

Backpacks—there’s a real fine example of the need to ‘put things in order.’ I see many parents start their children off the first day of school with a system that should take care of all their organizational needs; only to find by the end of the first week that the folders haven’t been used, the assignment pads haven’t been written in and the crayons are now where the pencils go, and the pencils are nowhere to be found. The key here is that you found this out early. There are two things to remember when dealing with backpacks and organization. Firstly, there are many ways to organize, and your way may not work best for your child. Secondly, like most other skills, organization needs to be taught.

I highly recommend that you review the state of your youngster’s backpack on either a daily (for the young ones) or at least weekly basis to monitor whether they have any idea where anything is, if you have seen and signed everything you were supposed to, and whether or not things like homework and permission forms are actually being turned in. If any of the above issues are problematic, then it is a sign that you need to review the system and perhaps modify it so it is more user-friendly. I encourage praise and reinforce for signs of organizational efforts. You may also need to use the same strategies for your child’s desk!

Try to find some time to take a look at what’s working and not working regarding morning routines and backpack organization. Then, try to work out some of the kinks. Evaluating and making changes on a regular basis can help ease the sense of disorder, and increase a sense of order and control of potentially chaotic situations. By doing so, you can begin to, “put things in order” a bit more, and experience the bedlam a bit less.

As published in Hometown News.

© MMVI Vicki Panaccione, Ph.D.

Summer Learning

Saturday, July 19th, 2008

Dear Dr. Vicki,

My friends say they need to keep their kids doing worksheets over the summer so they start the new school year on a good foot. My son cries and yells through the whole thing. He could really use the review but is it worth the torment? We all have to do things in life we don’t want to do, but is this one of them? What is the best thing a parent can do to prepare their child for the upcoming school year? What should summer be about for our kids and ourselves??

Dr. Vicki’s response:

Great questions! The fact that you are asking them is absolutely wonderful.

I think that learning should be an on-going process all year long. I guess for me it’s a matter of what shape and form that learning takes. Many, many children equate worksheets with school, and believe that they are ‘off’ over the summer. For some children, this works. Particularly since the first few weeks of school tend to be review at the younger grades. Other children need to keep up their skills. If they love it; great. If they don’t, then what to do?

I totally agree that children need to learn to do things even if they don’t like to do them. I just want to be careful that teaching this point doesn’t become counter-productive to the (academic) skills you really want to teach. There needs to be a fine line between keeping up the math skills, and contributing to a severe hatred of school work.

I think that all children should have some time each day during the summer to spend on quiet activities, academics and reading. These things should go on all year long. Some children do much better with school work on the computer than on a worksheet. Others do well if they can crawl into their parent’s lap, much like reading, and work on other things.

Here are a few tips:
• Set aside some quiet time for your children, so that any ‘work’ you want them to do is not creating disruption to playing or TV time, etc. This time needs to be spent in a way that you feel is productive.
• Perhaps there can be a choice of what kind of activity/worksheet, etc. that they can pick from on any particular day.
• Any chance that your children can do worksheets together with a friend? That would probably cut down on the verbal protests, and would be an extension of their time together.
• Perhaps if you want to strengthen math skills, a quiz could be given on Mon. If all the problems are correct, then your child does not need to do any more math that week. The next week, the quiz could be on a more difficult operation, or harder problems. If there are mistakes, perhaps for each error, another worksheet needs to be done. (One a day, etc.) That would mean if only 2 mistakes were made, then only two sheets would need to be completed during the week.
• You might want to give the weekends off, since that is how it is with school and with most jobs. So, if the weekend is strictly for playing, then adding a bit of learning to the week might be more palatable. Just like their parents’ jobs.
• If your children have a particular interest, such as bugs, sharks, flowers, etc…there is no reason that math problems can’t be created to incorporate things that are more appealing to them.
• You might also give a treat for a job well-done (and that means honest effort, with little grumbling, not necessarily 100% correct.)
• Loving connections are always in season! And it doesn’t have to be an either/or; it can certainly be both.

© MMVI Vicki Panaccione, Ph.D.

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dr vicki panaccione

Internationally recognized as a passionate and dedicated parent/child specialist, child psychologist "Dr. Vicki” Panaccione has spent the last 25 years helping thousands of families strengthen what she calls the "CaringConnection", the emotional bond between parents and children.

“Dr. Vicki is the author of Discovering Your Child: Parent Guide, and CaringConnections, her weekly online newsletter, helping parents find joy and fulfillment in their relationships
with their children. Read more...

 
 
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