Did you ever notice that you yell at your kids more when you’ve had a bad day? When you’re tired? Don’t feel well? When you walk in the door and lash out at your kids, they’re not really the problem. The real culprit is emotional overload. You are stressed and need an outlet. Find time for yourself: take a hot bath, call a friend, listen to music, lie down for a while, take a deep breather, exercise. Find something to help you unwind and relax. ATTACK THE PROBLEM, NOT YOUR CHILD.
“If you do that again, I’ll kill you.” “You’re grounded for Life!” Sound familiar? Did you know that when you make hollow threats like these, kids learn that their parents don’t mean what they say? When you’re really angry and frustrated, first calm down. Count to ten, take a deep breath, leave the room, call a friend. Don’t deal with your child in anger. Take time to decide on a course of action. Make the punishment fit the crime. And most importantly, follow-through! Do what you say you’ll do and kids will learn to listen to what you say.
“You’re so lazy.” “I wish you were never born.” “You’re so stupid, can’t you do anything right?” Sound familiar? Words said in anger linger in a child’s mind. If they hear these messages repeatedly, kids begin to believe they are true. Angry? Frustrated? Stressed out? Cool down! Leave the room, take a walk, call a friend, take a shower. TAKE TIME OUT FOR YOURSELF…DON’T TAKE IT OUT ON YOUR CHILD.
As broadcasted on Hitkicker Radio.
© MMVI Vicki Panaccione, Ph.D.
