Kids Are From Krypton Parents Are From Pluto

April 1, 2010 by  
Filed under Communication, Discipline, Family, Parenting

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Radio show update: Stop Shooting Yourself in the Foot! Today’s show focused on some of the major ways that parents undermine their own authority. Before you can effectively discipline your kids, you need to assume a position of respect and authority. However, most parents, particularly moms, have the tendency to sabotage themselves in the following ways:

Parents tend to feel that it is more important to take care of their kids than it is to take care of themselves. However, that couldn’t be farther from the truth! You need to show that you are important, and you take care of your own needs. If you don’t, then you are not respecting yourself; it will be difficult for others to respect you. Doormats are not very respected or honored. They are usually walked all over!

Saying something and not following through teaches your kids that you don’t mean what you say. The more you don’t implement a stated consequence, the more you undermine your authority, the more your kids learn not to take you seriously!

Inconsistency regarding what your rules are, and how you respond to your kids’ behavior leaves them in a state of confusion. When sometimes they get away with things and sometimes they don’t—they may as well keep trying to get away with it. Being able to count on a certain response to their behavior will provide a sense of predictability and security. And will teach them that every time they misbehave in a certain way, a certain consequence will occur.

Parents are not consistently holding their kids accountable for their actions. When your kids misbehave, they need to face the consequences of their actions. Moms tend to give up and do for their kids to avoid arguing. For instance, “I am tired of telling you to clean your rooms. So, I’m going to do it!” Oh, that will teach them!

Again, setting the example is crucial. If you want your kids to behave a certain way, they need to see it. Live a life of self-discipline, and that’s the model by which your kids will learn to live theirs.

Top 5 tips (+1) of the week:

  1. Treat yourself with respect
  2. Follow through with what you say
  3. Be consistent with what you do
  4. Hold your kids accountable
  5. Set the example of self-discipline
  6. Show your kids you love them—through your words and your actions.

Enjoy your kids!

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